Slow and Steady January 18, 2009

photo by Jerry L. on flickr

I subscribe to a blog called Zen Habits. And I’m glad I do. Its author, Leo Babauta (lives on Guam, married, 6 children, runner, vegetarian, writer) writes some pretty good “stuff” about: achieving goals, productivity, being organized, GTD, motivation, eliminating debt, saving, getting a flat stomach, eating healthy, simplifying, living frugal, parenting, happiness, and successfully implementing good habits.

In his latest post, he links to another author, Ian Newby-Clark (Habit Guy) of My Bad Habits who wrote this article about the Power of Gradual. Here is a exerpt:

Try this as an experiment. Make a tap leak ever so slightly—maybe a drop every half minute or so. Put an empty bucket below it. Now, go on with your day. Forget about the tap. Actually, I don’t need to tell you to forget the tap. You just will. Sometime later, stroll by the bucket. Holy heck! There’s a lot of water in there. It might even be overflowing (the author will not be held responsible …). That’s the Power of Gradual. It’s the effect of a small thing happening over and over (and over) again.

read more…

On and off I think about this topic and every time I stop and look back, I have to agree that things typically don’t happen overnight. Sure, sometimes we have to make drastic decisions. Sometimes we DO have to just quit that job from one day to the other because we just have had enough. But when it comes to goals and dreams…the age old “take it one day at a time”, “step by step” is probably one of the most profound suggestions that exists. I used to be a lot less patient. I used to get frustrated with myself (mostly) because I expected semi-instant results. Also, being a chronic procrastinator, I have often accomplished projects in the last minute. I can remember so many times in College when I had final papers to write and of course I’d wait until the day before it was due to work on it. Sure, an all nighter lead to an intensity that surprisingly turned into genuine interest in the subject matter. This, without fail (every time) would frustrate me to no end. Why? Because I’d realize that if I had just started my project earlier and worked on it a little bit every day, I would have written an A+ paper. (sidenote: I have to admit though that I do well under pressure and sometimes come up with my most creative results in that manner)

And so lately I have been reminding myself more and more to do a bit every day of whatever I want to achieve. If it’s cleaning my apartment: instead of spending an entire day cleaning every corner of the apt and usually never finishing because I am SO exhausted (oh, and distracted)…clean the living room one day, the bathroom the next day, the kitchen…
If it’s posting on my blog, preparing photos to upload to flickr, posting on facebook, keeping in touch with friends…a bit every day/other day will get me to where I want to be.
With my desire to become a better writer (oh yes!): write every morning…a page, two pages…but WRITE! As a friend of mine writes to me in encouragement: THE VOICE will come…
And especially with my long term goals…again and again I come to the same conclusion: don’t expect instant gratification. Be patient and stick with it. And I find that it does work. The key (at least for me) is consistency. Especially if they are more abstract goals (such as “becoming a better writer”)…you just gotta keep at it…but in a gentle and underwhelming way.

I am not a parent, but I know that many parents have the desire to “be a better parent”. This is a huge topic…and yet so simple. I believe that nowadays too many parents think they have to do “big” things with their kids to make them happy or prove to themselves that they are good parents. Wrong. I find that the best parents are those who spend a bit of quality time every day with their children, who stop every once in a while and just listen, who watch a movie with their kids, who sit and have a meal as a family (an endangered species)…just little things here and there, simple, nothing extravagant…that to me is what makes a parent rock.

As I was searching for something else on google, I also came across this article, The Oak Tree vs. the Microwave, on a blog called Succcess.org. And sure enough, it talks about the same subject of instant gratification, the need for patience, the nurturing of dreams, ideals and goals.
Here is an excerpt:

There are many young adults today completely lost. Totally disillusioned and frustrated.

So many fine young men and women in their 20s, 30s, and even 40’s who’ve lost touch with the natural maturation process of personal development and personal success. These individuals seek instant gratification. They want success, and they want it now! The phrase, “paying your dues” unfortunately, doesn’t register or doesn’t apply to them . . . or so they think.

Why? I’m thinking you can go ahead and blame it on the microwave oven. Yes, the microwave oven. Think about it, these same “kids” are now adults and they’ve only known one thing — instant gratification! Need a quick meal? Pop it in the microwave. How about some leftovers – throw it in the microwave. The trusty microwave has now made the concept of “waiting” obsolete.

read more…
And so it is with everything. Even finding these articles and blogs. The beauty of the internet is that we can find (if we search) all sorts of interesting things that help us take these slow steps. Every day a little bit and eventually our bucket of life WILL fill with clear, refreshing and tasty water…

Friday Ramblings January 9, 2009

I’m beginning to come back to the world. Yesterday I had my first one-hour physical Therapy session, which was pretty fun. What I liked best was that so far each doctor or physical therapist I have seen has been amazed at how fast I am recovering. The fracture is practically healed and now I have to deal with the rehabilitation process: get the ligaments, muscles, nerves (I guess) back “on track”. That, I am told, takes a few months, and all in all it will take about a year for me to feel COMPLETELY normal again. (I can’t help but laugh at this thought…if only that was true about everything). Yesterday, my physical therapist Jenny told me: wow! You are a superwoman! You’ve healed really fast. I didn’t show that, but imagine how I felt inside (and every time one of them gave me that kind of compliment ~ yes! It’s a compliment to ME). There was this “big me” giving “little me” a few taps on the shoulder saying: see? That’s what happens when you take good care of yourself and follow orders! You heal fast and make everyone, including me, not only proud of you but in awe of you!

Haha! Yeah! Like I said…sometimes it takes so little to give me the boost I need…I just have to be careful not to take it too far and flaunt it…that would look silly!

But I am walking…on a funny looking oversized boot (you’ve seen those…you always feel a bit sorry for the dude who has to walk around in these…well, I’m one of those dudes right now…so don’t laugh!). And soon, next week, I don’t even have to wear that one anymore.

And so I am beginning to feel like I am part of the world again. I also went to work yesterday for the first time in about a month. It was not an official workday (that starts on Monday), but a totally-clean-my-new-half-office day. Yes. What used to be a pretty spacious office of mine is now cut in half, shared with a new woman who was hired a few months ago. At first I was not too thrilled by the idea…but yesterday, after I managed to empty most of the boxes I had with “junk” and put papers and stuff wherever I thought they belonged, I didn’t think it looked that bad. Just a little tighter. My office has always been the social gathering place (EVERY job I have had!) for students and teachers. I hardly ever get work done…but even my supervisor (bless her heart) admires the way I make students feel “comfortable” and that being social is part of my job! Wow! Ok! Then I won’t feel so guilty about chattin’ it up with students at every break.

So I cleaned my office and saw PEOPLE! I think during this hibernation period I have seen perhaps 5 people. So when I ran into this person and that person…talking, asking, sharing…I constantly had this background thought saying to myself: wow! you’re doing ok…yeah yeah…keep going…
I guess you don’t really forget how to be social after all. I thought I’d be a little rusty…but I was wrong. I slid right back into the old me: friendly, inquisitive, expressive…sarcastic at times, serious when needed and smiling most of the time. Check.

But in the last few days (at home) I have been a bit too obsessed perhaps with reading blogs. You know how it is…you like someone’s blog…then you go to the blogs THEY like…then you subscribe to a few of those…and on and on. I love checking every few hours if someone has posted something new on their blog. I use flock and with flock there’s a sidebar that automatically refreshes and lets you know (with a little number next to the blog) if anyone has posted anything. So once I see 1 or 2 or 4…I get all excited and immediately go to the blog and read. And read…and read…I know you know how hours can go by this way. Well, thank God for NOW I don’t have anything real urgent I need to do..and let’s not forget! I still have to keep that foot up…doctor’s orders.

The blogs I have been following recently have something different about them. You know how I can get all melodramatic and clouded at times…as social as I am, I can also be completely disconnected and “in a mood”…a real hermit. But the new blogs I have been reading in the last few days/weeks are pretty light and funny. And I think that lightness and funniness is influencing me. Even THIS post of mine today feels pretty light, doesn’t it? No heavy shit today! Yoohoo!
So, because I love to share…here they are…the latest blogs I am reading:

My good friend N. finally started her own blog called Milk Teeth. She is a super smart and funny girl. She’s an MFA student at SF State and in my opinion writes really really well…this blog is not so much about her writing (although just her little descriptions about why she likes what she posted are fun to read) but about things she likes. Very random things. I didn’t know she was into fashion, but I love her quirkiness and choice of interests. I will be seeing her this afternoon and I KNOW our conversation is going to be non-stop and LOUD! Hahaha

And so of course I checked out what SHE follows..and one of them really stood out for me. I had never before heard of “street style photo blogs”, but there is a whole movement out there of fashion conscious people taking photos of people they randomly see on the streets that have interesting fashion statements. This article here talks about the movement and has links to such blogs, which I checked out, but really not being much into fashion, I’m not that attracted to a blog that just has photos of beautiful and fashionable people (without much writing). Except for one: this is a blog that my friend N. follows and now I do too.

Garance Doré has a really cool blog. She’s a Parisian fashion illustrator and takes photos of people in the streets of Paris that catch her eye. What I like about her blog is that she also writes really fun and interesting posts. They are light. And again…this is not typically something I would search out, but having come across it by clicking on this and that link…I am glad I have. By the way, here is her blog in French: Garance Doré en francais.

Then there’s Stella’s blog. Under her blog name Stella’s mid-life crisis she writes: A 42 year old woman’s search for what it’s all about. LOVE IT! Clear and concise. To the point. And of course I can relate. And there’s LOTS of writing and interesting topics.

The last blog I have subscribed to is Chambre avec Vue (Room with a view). It belongs to an old school friend (although we were not really “friends” in school because he was a year or two above me, but I do remember him). His blog is in French. He posts a mix of quotes, scenes from movies, thoughts and photos. He just recently went on a trip to Malaysia and took, in my opinion, superb photos! I wish he posted more cause I really enjoy what he put up…but hey! I don’t post often enough either…maybe I should make that one of my new year’s resolutions! Forget it! Another thing I like about blogs (such as this one) is that you get to know these people and in his case, we are becoming friends. Love that!

Oh, but I do have to still re-metion my favorite blog: Deonne Kahler’s Life on the High Wire. I still LOVE her posts! I write “re-mention” because I talked about her in a previous post…I just want to let you know that I still follow her blog with a passion.

Ok…that’s it for today. WOW! Could this be one of my longest posts so far? I guess going out yesterday and reacquainting myself with “civilization” has truly released some much-needed expressive air!

It’s a Voyage of Ideas ~ Henry Miller’s Bathroom Monologue January 6, 2009

Part 2

Part 3

The many faces of Communication December 3, 2008

Lately I have been thinking more and more about the difference between communicating with people via letters/email/chats versus verbal communication. I don’t think anyone would ever consider me a poor verbal communicator, but even I find a huge gap between the two. In the past year or so, I have been communicating a lot more via emails with people who have a lot to contribute intellectually, spiritually, artistically…these people live far away from me. At times I imagine what it would be like if I sat across a table with these same people and we “talked” about the same things we write about. When I do that, I get a cramp in the depths of my belly. I get scared. I look at myself and think I may be a fraud.

Why? Because I don’t think I can go to the same depths as I do on paper. or at least I haven’t in a very long time and I’m afraid I may have unlearned it.

So is written communication just different? and that’s ok? When I write I lower my inhibitions. Sort of like when I have, say, two full glasses of wine. I say more of what I think. I don’t fear intimacy. Not physical intimacy, but mental/emotional/spiritual intimacy. I “go there”. I am more poetic. And so are they/you.

If I talk to someone, it takes a lot longer for me to feel comfortable enough to “go there”. It’s all that damn non-verbal communication. The way a person speaks, the voice, the intonation, the looks, the way they move their hands, the way I move my hands, the gaps of silence and how desperate I/we are to fill them…all that crap makes me a bit nervous and distracts me from everything I can achieve when i am by myself at my computer responding to an email.

Perhaps I am just not used to it anymore.

The free-flow of inner language gets stuck somewhere. It’s like a facade that makes us say stupid things, that makes us laugh nervously…we sometimes feel like real idiots.

But maybe it isn’t really like that. Maybe it would be just as free-flowing as it is on paper. I don’t know. I will need to find out eventually.

And perhaps that is why it is easier to find like-minded people online. Most of these people I communicate with I know in person. We just live far from each other. A few I have never met but we have clearly found a common thread which is usually artistic/life affirming and questioning/spiritual/poetic….I also have not really found such people here, where I physically live. Therein probably lies the real clue.

I will keep thinking about this topic and will eventually test it out.

I’d love to hear what others think of this.

Halloween was fun! November 1, 2008

…and I am not really a big fan of this day. But my job has sort of “forced me” to get into it (for the sake of the students)…well, and so the “fake enthusiasm” is beginning to turn. LOTS and lots of girls in sexy short costumes. What’s up with that? What about creativity and a bit of uniqueness? I can’t deny that many of them do look good and I guess (I guess, but really don’t think) that if I had this tiny little sexy body I’d also wear a tiny, skimpy nurse/devil/angel/etc/etc outfit? hmm…nahhh…I wouldn’t!

This morning when I was standing in line at my favorite cafe I suddenly see a girl walking, no, stumbling down the hill in one of these skimpy, tiny nurse’s costumes…ok. It was about 10am and she was drunk? Everyone in the cafe stared at her and the bets started rolling. I thought to myself: well, on the day after it is a phenomenon indeed! one guy said out loud to his buddies (these are middle-aged men): I give you $20 to go out and ask her what the story is. We were all a bit confused. Did I feel sorry for her? Not really. She was laughing and just looked as though she had had just too good of a time all night.

So is Halloween sort of an excuse to dress up like a hooker? I dare not ask them.

On that note…one of my very creative students:

and yours truly (recognized by none of her students):

go to my flickr page to see a few more…

Connections in the air August 6, 2008

Most of my mornings are pretty much spent the same way: I wake up early (anywhere between 5am and 7am) even though I don’t have to go to work until later. I make coffee. I turn on the computer and I sit in front of it for at least an hour (sometimes a LOT longer). I first check all my emails. I respond to most of them. I might read an article or two on Alternet.org. I then check to see if any of the people whose blogs I subscribe to have posted anything new (I use FLOCK, check it out!). And then I read…and read…and comment…and go to links…sometimes I get so inspired that I write a post of my own (like right now)…other times I get distracted. Or I decide to go for a walk/run at Crissy Field…or go do some morning writing at Cafe Trieste…

Today I am inspired to share with you some of the blogs I follow. Some people write on a regular basis and every time I see a “1″ next to the name of their blog my tiny little cheerleader in a yellow dress yells ra ra ra!

I’ve been following Deonne Kohler’s blog Life on the High Wire for a few weeks now. Here is what she writes about herself:

I’m a freelance writer and soon to be MFA student, and my goal is to craft a successful creative life – without a soulless day job or trust fund. Can it be done? Hell yeah! Follow along as I navigate grad school and life as a new New Yorker…

I LOVE her writing. She makes fun of herself, is curious, quirky and does all the things I would do if I lived in New York City. She walks the city, observes people, observes herself all the time, lets us know when she has sighted someone famous (and her description of herself when she has “sighted” is hilarious!). She’s turned the jacket of her soul inside out…and we get to see it all!

Sambgood is a young girl (my guess is she is in right around 20 if even as I think she just started College) who wants to be a writer. Why do I like her blog? Again, she writes very creatively, honestly, has a healthy sense of humor…I admire her youth and determination to become a writer. Man, I wish I was 20 again!
On her blog, she has what she calls “The Back Cover”:

The Back Cover
Why I Blog

When you pick up a book, you may flip it to read the back. You may want to see a brief synopsis, a good blurb review, or an unresistable hook–anything, really, to urge you to turn to the first page and read the first word and fly by the first sentence.

This is my back cover:

I, Samantha, am a University student who loves to read and write.

(Actually, I’m addicted, mostly to reading, and even wrote how much I’m addicted in a college application. (I sent it in. I was rejected. Eh.))

Although I love it, or perhaps because I love it, I’m still learning. As I learn, I want to share my experiences with you. Here, posting at least five times a week, you can read some of my thoughts on writing and life as I grow as a writer and as a person. You might enjoy them as much as I enjoyed writing them. So have fun, read, comment, and perhaps recommend this to a friend. Either way, I would love for you to join my journey to be the best writer I can be.

The Crossroads is written by a young man in his early 40s. He is from the US but lives in Australia with his family. He struggles through life and shares that with us. I don’t think he realizes how many people actually relate to what he writes (I do)…I love his rawness, realness and fearlessness about showing his vulnerable side. His writing is clever, smart, sometimes painful and sometimes funny.
Here is what he writes about himself:

There are over 100 million blogs (and counting); in time my exercise in self-discovery may simply prove to be “lost in time… like tears in rain”.

On the other hand, I may later reflect on what I chronicle here as either profound observations of what it means to be a man with many flaws… or the trite, self-indulgent affirmation that, despite my efforts, I believe what I read in The Alchemist: “…that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.”

This blog is (like so many) an autodidactic exercise in writing so I may hopefully gain a reputation as a very cunning linguist.

Cheers!

Lastly for today (I might add more at a later time) the latest one I have discovered is Ms. Single Mama. As you can see from her name, she is single and a mother. I am not single nor am I a mother. But I love to read what she writes and somehow I can relate to it. She is pretty feisty, funny, to the point, no messin’ around with this mama! and yes, I love how she writes…
about Single Mama:

Prince Charming can kiss my ass.

I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.

During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. And then something happened. I sucked it up and opened my eyes … realizing that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.

When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a munchkin – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?

This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers. We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.

That’s it for today.

I believe that we can and need to take the Internet to a level that connects us more. If already some of us (many of us!) spend a lot of time in front of this screen…if already we throw up the dirt and gently toss the roses at the world…then let’s acknowledge each other. Let’s connect from the comfort of our messy little rooms…because that is all we long for, isn’t it? It is all we have ever wanted since we took our first breath of life.
And those of us who are lucky enough to have discovered the passion of expression through writing…those of us who feel more alive when we take that ball of emotions/stories/discoveries/frustrations and throw it far far into the air…once in a while we deserve to be told by a total stranger: hey! I caught it! I’m holding it! I’m with you!

And then, for a moment, you can feel the gentle hand of that stranger on your shoulder…and for that moment you feel connected. And that feels DAMN good!

1000 Journals August 3, 2008

Here is how the film begins:

 

If you ask a kindergarten class how many of them are artists, they’ll all raise their hands. Ask the same question of 6th graders, and maybe one third will respond. Ask high school grads, and few will admit to it. (explained in Orbiting the Giant Hairball)

What happens to us growing up? We begin to fear criticism, and tend to keep our creativity to ourselves. Many people keep journals, of writing or sketching, but not many share them with people. (when was the last time a friend invited you to read their diary?) You will not be judged here. And you will have company. This is for you. For everyone.

 

Where the hell have I been all these years?  How is it that I haven’t heard (ever!) about the 1000 journals?  

Yesterday I went to see the documentary film called 1000 Journals with my friend Thi Thi.  It is about a san Francisco graphic designer/artist called Someguy who decided in 2000 to send out 1000 blank journals into the world.  He mailed many, gave many of them to friends who were traveling, left others in random spots in the city (next to a public phone, in the SF Weekly “box”, on a park bench, in cafes and bars…)

On the last page of each 220 page blank journal are instructions: to write/draw/paint in the journal, keep it for 2 weeks and then pass it on.  People are asked to scan what they wrote and submit it to the website created for this purpose only.  When the journal is complete, it is to be sent back to Someguy.  It took 3 years for the first journal to make it back “home”.  He has received more since (can’t remember how many), but certainly not close to as many as he’d like to.  The project has turned into a search for the missing journals.

 

1000 Journals has become a movement…Andrea Kreuzhage, the filmmaker (comes from Heidelberg, Germany but has lived in Los Angeles since the 90s) became obsessed with the whole concept of these journals.  This inspired her to make this amazing documentary film.  She tracks down some of the people who have contributed to the journals (travelled all over the world to interview them), recreates the process Someguy went through to get this project launched.  We were lucky enough to get to meet her after the film and ask her questions.  

 

From the get-go of the film I thought my heart was going to explode.  Thi Thi and I both kept giggling and squeezing each other’s arms every few minutes.  This film, this idea, this creative process is so inspiring and full of life.  The idea of having people express their creativity in a journal (something many people already do, but unfortunately too many others don’t), know that it will travel the world, use the internet to document and share the pages one by one is to me fantastic!  

 

I needed to see this film.  It was the nudge I needed since I’ve been feeling a bit depressed and uncreative lately.  

 

This film will show this week only at the Roxie Theatre in the Mission district until Thursday, August 7th.  If you are in the San Francisco area, try to see it.  If not, you might want to check out the website to see where it will be shown in the future:  www.1000journals.com

Here’s an interview I just found: Andrea Kreuzhage and Someguy riffle through “1000 Journals”

Stop! July 29, 2008

Mucca Pazza ~ wow! (part 3 of the Renegade Fair) July 27, 2008

A few weeks ago I went to the Renegade Fair at Fort Mason Center. I wrote about it in previous posts:
Renegade Fair Part 1
Renegade Fair Part 2

What I haven’t written about yet was the highlight of the Fair: Mucca Pazza. This is how they describe themselves on their MySpace page: “Astounding circus Punk Marching Band”…yes, yes, yes and more. I am sure that anyone lucky enough to see this band walks away thinking: what the hell was that! I sure did. I was so excited and could not stop taking photos of them. If you ever have a chance to see them, be prepared to see something unique, energizing, creative, funny…and just plain great!

To see the other photos I took of the event, go here

Collecting Stories: Jonathan Harris on TED.com July 25, 2008

Recently I subscribed to TED.com and have been watching the talks as they come in. There are some really amazing ones…this one that I watched just a few minutes ago made me feel like there are ways I can still incorporate all the things I watch, listen to and think about into something creative. This is Jonathan Harris’ way of gathering stories, photographs, feelings and creating really interesting projects…

Jonathan Harris on TED

Also to access the site he mentions called “We feel fine”, go here