You know you’ve gained weight when the belt is temporarily unnecessary.
Obama’s People January 20, 2009
The New York Times has this special edition of photos of Obama’s People. It’s interesting to see the variety and age of some of these people. I like Eugene Kang, 24, special assistant to the president…he looks like he could be one of my students!
Today is a GREAT day!! January 20, 2009
Got myself up early and went over to the Civic Center to share this momentous day with thousands of others. Click here to see my photos on Flickr.
Congratulations President Barack Obama! We are all proud!
The Check has finally been Cashed January 19, 2009
It goes without saying that today, more than EVER, this amazing speech of Martin Luther King Jr.’s has a new meaning. The time has finally come, it took too long…but it has finally come.
Happy Birthday Dr. King!
Slow and Steady January 18, 2009
photo by Jerry L. on flickr
I subscribe to a blog called Zen Habits. And I’m glad I do. Its author, Leo Babauta (lives on Guam, married, 6 children, runner, vegetarian, writer) writes some pretty good “stuff” about: achieving goals, productivity, being organized, GTD, motivation, eliminating debt, saving, getting a flat stomach, eating healthy, simplifying, living frugal, parenting, happiness, and successfully implementing good habits.
In his latest post, he links to another author, Ian Newby-Clark (Habit Guy) of My Bad Habits who wrote this article about the Power of Gradual. Here is a exerpt:
Try this as an experiment. Make a tap leak ever so slightly—maybe a drop every half minute or so. Put an empty bucket below it. Now, go on with your day. Forget about the tap. Actually, I don’t need to tell you to forget the tap. You just will. Sometime later, stroll by the bucket. Holy heck! There’s a lot of water in there. It might even be overflowing (the author will not be held responsible …). That’s the Power of Gradual. It’s the effect of a small thing happening over and over (and over) again.
On and off I think about this topic and every time I stop and look back, I have to agree that things typically don’t happen overnight. Sure, sometimes we have to make drastic decisions. Sometimes we DO have to just quit that job from one day to the other because we just have had enough. But when it comes to goals and dreams…the age old “take it one day at a time”, “step by step” is probably one of the most profound suggestions that exists. I used to be a lot less patient. I used to get frustrated with myself (mostly) because I expected semi-instant results. Also, being a chronic procrastinator, I have often accomplished projects in the last minute. I can remember so many times in College when I had final papers to write and of course I’d wait until the day before it was due to work on it. Sure, an all nighter lead to an intensity that surprisingly turned into genuine interest in the subject matter. This, without fail (every time) would frustrate me to no end. Why? Because I’d realize that if I had just started my project earlier and worked on it a little bit every day, I would have written an A+ paper. (sidenote: I have to admit though that I do well under pressure and sometimes come up with my most creative results in that manner)
And so lately I have been reminding myself more and more to do a bit every day of whatever I want to achieve. If it’s cleaning my apartment: instead of spending an entire day cleaning every corner of the apt and usually never finishing because I am SO exhausted (oh, and distracted)…clean the living room one day, the bathroom the next day, the kitchen…
If it’s posting on my blog, preparing photos to upload to flickr, posting on facebook, keeping in touch with friends…a bit every day/other day will get me to where I want to be.
With my desire to become a better writer (oh yes!): write every morning…a page, two pages…but WRITE! As a friend of mine writes to me in encouragement: THE VOICE will come…
And especially with my long term goals…again and again I come to the same conclusion: don’t expect instant gratification. Be patient and stick with it. And I find that it does work. The key (at least for me) is consistency. Especially if they are more abstract goals (such as “becoming a better writer”)…you just gotta keep at it…but in a gentle and underwhelming way.
I am not a parent, but I know that many parents have the desire to “be a better parent”. This is a huge topic…and yet so simple. I believe that nowadays too many parents think they have to do “big” things with their kids to make them happy or prove to themselves that they are good parents. Wrong. I find that the best parents are those who spend a bit of quality time every day with their children, who stop every once in a while and just listen, who watch a movie with their kids, who sit and have a meal as a family (an endangered species)…just little things here and there, simple, nothing extravagant…that to me is what makes a parent rock.
As I was searching for something else on google, I also came across this article, The Oak Tree vs. the Microwave, on a blog called Succcess.org. And sure enough, it talks about the same subject of instant gratification, the need for patience, the nurturing of dreams, ideals and goals.
Here is an excerpt:
There are many young adults today completely lost. Totally disillusioned and frustrated.
So many fine young men and women in their 20s, 30s, and even 40’s who’ve lost touch with the natural maturation process of personal development and personal success. These individuals seek instant gratification. They want success, and they want it now! The phrase, “paying your dues” unfortunately, doesn’t register or doesn’t apply to them . . . or so they think.
Why? I’m thinking you can go ahead and blame it on the microwave oven. Yes, the microwave oven. Think about it, these same “kids” are now adults and they’ve only known one thing — instant gratification! Need a quick meal? Pop it in the microwave. How about some leftovers – throw it in the microwave. The trusty microwave has now made the concept of “waiting” obsolete.
read more…
And so it is with everything. Even finding these articles and blogs. The beauty of the internet is that we can find (if we search) all sorts of interesting things that help us take these slow steps. Every day a little bit and eventually our bucket of life WILL fill with clear, refreshing and tasty water…
Quote for Today ~ 16 January, 2009 January 16, 2009
One of the least discussed issues of individuation is that as one shines light into the dark of the psyche as strongly as one can, the shadows, where the light is not, grow even darker. So when we illuminate some part of the psyche, there is a resultant deeper dark to contend with. This dark cannot be let alone.
Women Who Run With The Wolves ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Quote for Today ~ 15 January 2009 January 15, 2009
Freedom isn’t the choice the world encourages.
You have to wear a suit of armor to defend it.
Brian Morton ~ Starting out in the Evening
Naivité Revealed January 14, 2009
I am angry enough that I think my fingers will have cramps after about 2 minutes from the fast and furious typing I will do. I am angry at these people out there who find every way possible to scam you (don’t worry, I hear your comments already)…but most of all I am angry at myself. Angry at my stupid, naive, embarrassingly blind trust that nahhh…this is fine! I don’t need to read the fine print…nahh…I’m smarter than that…
Even though I’d rather keep this little secret all to myself, I will put myself out there because 1. sometimes I just love to torture myself, 2. I will ALWAYS be an honest shmuck and 3. I believe strongly in sharing ones mistakes with others so that these others (you) will not make the same mistakes.
Keywords: Free trial.
You know, in the age of credit card fraud and identity theft, I always thought I was safe. Yes, I use my credit card to order books on amazon or sign up for netflix or bid on an item on ebay. I always seem to be “a bit” careful but honestly, I never think that I will have a problem with that. So far I haven’t (with these examples). But a few weeks ago I was really dumb. Really (maybe it was that lying on my back for 3 weeks thing that affected my reasonable brain functions). And I am so embarrassed about this that I don’t think I can even tell you what I ordered. But it was a free trial of “something”, in a pill form..that is “good for you” (oh my God! I can’t go on!)…and the offer was that you only pay for shipping and handling. A measly $3 or $4 for something FREE! woohoo!
I knew after I placed my online order that it was probably one of these tricky ones where you actually have to CALL to cancel the order or else they automatically charge your card every month and the hell begins. And the charge is not for $10 or even $20…it’s for $80+ !! ok, so I get the product (ok, 2 products) in the mail and I think…great! maybe I will now lose the 5 to 10 lbs I can’t seem to shed (ok…embarrassed again!). So I DO read the fine print and sure enough it says that if you don’t cancel within 15 days, you get charged and they send you more of this wonderful wonder shit drug.
So before being responsible and making that dreaded phone call (I just KNOW the hold will not be 1 minute only) I go online and do a bit of research. I wanted to read a bit more about this product supposedly associated with Oprah (NOT! she only mentioned it once on a show of hers that I didn’t even watch). Lo and behold I find a site called complaintsboard.com and suddenly there is a combination of fireworks coming out of my head and a growl in my stomach that makes me feel like I am going faint. Oooohhh…the complaints and horror stories. I read the 2 pages and already HATE those people who say that they are glad to have found this site BEFORE they went ahead and placed the order.
Note to freakin’ self: always research before placing an order for something that sounds too good to be true.
So I run to the phone and dial the first number. I eventually get through and this woman in the Philippines actually tries to convince me how good this product is for my health after I tell her 3 times that I want to cancel it. I keep calm (thinking about Jerry Seinfeld and the hotel wake up call guy) and just repeat thank-you-but-no-thank-you-please-cancel-this. She eventually gives up and gives me a 15 digit cancellation number. I take a deep breath,say thank you and hang up.
Good. One down. One more to go.
I dial the number and get this message: We’re sorry, the mailbox is full.
That’s it! I swear! I actually begin to laugh…well, more at myself really.
So I go back to the site to see what else people complain about and what they did. One person writes that even though she canceled the order, got a cancellation number, she still was charged. Several people say that the only way they were able to stop this was to cancel their card and get a new one.
That is what I end up doing. Well, the good thing is that I hadn’t yet gotten charged the 80+ dollars…so this was all preventative. I am embarrassed to call my bank (what do THEY care!) and explain to them why I need to cancel and order a new card, but I still do it. And it is done. For now.
In the process of looking at my account more carefully online, I find an unfamiliar charge of $12.95. I call the number listed next to it. And here is what I hear: well ma’am…back in August you requested a credit report at creditreport.com (fine, true) and you did not check off the box that says that you do NOT want credit report monitoring service to charge you $12.95 a month to monitor your report. Are you f—–g kidding me? I don’t even want to look back to previous months. I close my eyes tightly and calmly tell the nice lady to please cancel that account.
This was a bonus slap in the face. The icing on the cake that made me run to my blog and “share” my story with you.
And why again? because right now I feel like a complete idiot, but more than that I want to warn those of you out there that think (like I thought) that they pay attention to these kinds of things…that they are “smarter” than most people…that this kinda stuff doesn’t happen to them…
Well..it happened to me. Thankfully my story is not as bad as some of the others I read about…
Now my eyes are open a bit wider. And I will now think twice about typing those wonderful 16 digits that get me closer to instant gratification…
Best thing: When I called the credit report people, the woman asks me for my Social Security Number…and I, with an authoritative and strong deep voice say: oh no! I don’t give my social security number on the phone!
Pathetic.
Friday Ramblings January 9, 2009
I’m beginning to come back to the world. Yesterday I had my first one-hour physical Therapy session, which was pretty fun. What I liked best was that so far each doctor or physical therapist I have seen has been amazed at how fast I am recovering. The fracture is practically healed and now I have to deal with the rehabilitation process: get the ligaments, muscles, nerves (I guess) back “on track”. That, I am told, takes a few months, and all in all it will take about a year for me to feel COMPLETELY normal again. (I can’t help but laugh at this thought…if only that was true about everything). Yesterday, my physical therapist Jenny told me: wow! You are a superwoman! You’ve healed really fast. I didn’t show that, but imagine how I felt inside (and every time one of them gave me that kind of compliment ~ yes! It’s a compliment to ME). There was this “big me” giving “little me” a few taps on the shoulder saying: see? That’s what happens when you take good care of yourself and follow orders! You heal fast and make everyone, including me, not only proud of you but in awe of you!
Haha! Yeah! Like I said…sometimes it takes so little to give me the boost I need…I just have to be careful not to take it too far and flaunt it…that would look silly!
But I am walking…on a funny looking oversized boot (you’ve seen those…you always feel a bit sorry for the dude who has to walk around in these…well, I’m one of those dudes right now…so don’t laugh!). And soon, next week, I don’t even have to wear that one anymore.
And so I am beginning to feel like I am part of the world again. I also went to work yesterday for the first time in about a month. It was not an official workday (that starts on Monday), but a totally-clean-my-new-half-office day. Yes. What used to be a pretty spacious office of mine is now cut in half, shared with a new woman who was hired a few months ago. At first I was not too thrilled by the idea…but yesterday, after I managed to empty most of the boxes I had with “junk” and put papers and stuff wherever I thought they belonged, I didn’t think it looked that bad. Just a little tighter. My office has always been the social gathering place (EVERY job I have had!) for students and teachers. I hardly ever get work done…but even my supervisor (bless her heart) admires the way I make students feel “comfortable” and that being social is part of my job! Wow! Ok! Then I won’t feel so guilty about chattin’ it up with students at every break.
So I cleaned my office and saw PEOPLE! I think during this hibernation period I have seen perhaps 5 people. So when I ran into this person and that person…talking, asking, sharing…I constantly had this background thought saying to myself: wow! you’re doing ok…yeah yeah…keep going…
I guess you don’t really forget how to be social after all. I thought I’d be a little rusty…but I was wrong. I slid right back into the old me: friendly, inquisitive, expressive…sarcastic at times, serious when needed and smiling most of the time. Check.
But in the last few days (at home) I have been a bit too obsessed perhaps with reading blogs. You know how it is…you like someone’s blog…then you go to the blogs THEY like…then you subscribe to a few of those…and on and on. I love checking every few hours if someone has posted something new on their blog. I use flock and with flock there’s a sidebar that automatically refreshes and lets you know (with a little number next to the blog) if anyone has posted anything. So once I see 1 or 2 or 4…I get all excited and immediately go to the blog and read. And read…and read…I know you know how hours can go by this way. Well, thank God for NOW I don’t have anything real urgent I need to do..and let’s not forget! I still have to keep that foot up…doctor’s orders.
The blogs I have been following recently have something different about them. You know how I can get all melodramatic and clouded at times…as social as I am, I can also be completely disconnected and “in a mood”…a real hermit. But the new blogs I have been reading in the last few days/weeks are pretty light and funny. And I think that lightness and funniness is influencing me. Even THIS post of mine today feels pretty light, doesn’t it? No heavy shit today! Yoohoo!
So, because I love to share…here they are…the latest blogs I am reading:
My good friend N. finally started her own blog called Milk Teeth. She is a super smart and funny girl. She’s an MFA student at SF State and in my opinion writes really really well…this blog is not so much about her writing (although just her little descriptions about why she likes what she posted are fun to read) but about things she likes. Very random things. I didn’t know she was into fashion, but I love her quirkiness and choice of interests. I will be seeing her this afternoon and I KNOW our conversation is going to be non-stop and LOUD! Hahaha
And so of course I checked out what SHE follows..and one of them really stood out for me. I had never before heard of “street style photo blogs”, but there is a whole movement out there of fashion conscious people taking photos of people they randomly see on the streets that have interesting fashion statements. This article here talks about the movement and has links to such blogs, which I checked out, but really not being much into fashion, I’m not that attracted to a blog that just has photos of beautiful and fashionable people (without much writing). Except for one: this is a blog that my friend N. follows and now I do too.
Garance Doré has a really cool blog. She’s a Parisian fashion illustrator and takes photos of people in the streets of Paris that catch her eye. What I like about her blog is that she also writes really fun and interesting posts. They are light. And again…this is not typically something I would search out, but having come across it by clicking on this and that link…I am glad I have. By the way, here is her blog in French: Garance Doré en francais.
Then there’s Stella’s blog. Under her blog name Stella’s mid-life crisis she writes: A 42 year old woman’s search for what it’s all about. LOVE IT! Clear and concise. To the point. And of course I can relate. And there’s LOTS of writing and interesting topics.
The last blog I have subscribed to is Chambre avec Vue (Room with a view). It belongs to an old school friend (although we were not really “friends” in school because he was a year or two above me, but I do remember him). His blog is in French. He posts a mix of quotes, scenes from movies, thoughts and photos. He just recently went on a trip to Malaysia and took, in my opinion, superb photos! I wish he posted more cause I really enjoy what he put up…but hey! I don’t post often enough either…maybe I should make that one of my new year’s resolutions! Forget it! Another thing I like about blogs (such as this one) is that you get to know these people and in his case, we are becoming friends. Love that!
Oh, but I do have to still re-metion my favorite blog: Deonne Kahler’s Life on the High Wire. I still LOVE her posts! I write “re-mention” because I talked about her in a previous post…I just want to let you know that I still follow her blog with a passion.
Ok…that’s it for today. WOW! Could this be one of my longest posts so far? I guess going out yesterday and reacquainting myself with “civilization” has truly released some much-needed expressive air!
